what's on your mind?

The ocean turns dark blue and a huge cloud covers the horizon from one end to the other. It looks like a huge wall and will soon bring worlds end. Nothing can stop it. It looks just black, dangerous and intimidating. I can still see the mountain pretty clear to the left. It is still in front of light blue that enlightens the earth. Light leftovers from the sun which has set and disappeared half an hour ago. above this huge cloud is a stripe of orange sky which slowly turns into this light blue that gets dark at the right above me. You can’t even tell what is cloud and what is ocean, just the choppy water close to the shore shows the difference. The left light which try to reach through and around the cloud let the waves get silver tops and lines of silver and dark blue move random in front of me and the shore. It gets darker and there is no sound besides the wind roaring and makes it even hard to hear the waves tumbling and finally breaking across the shoreline. Just a few more minutes and everything will be covered in black and I will only be able to see a few lights far away along the shoreline of taranaki. Everything else will be dark. The wind will ease later the night and hopefully be gone be sunrise to make a morning session and a wonderful awaking in this amazing scenery even more appreciated. But the cloud cover tells another forecast, but you never know.

It got a little boring over here, far down under. There has been some swell for three days and the wind turned mostly offshore, but the scene shifted as fast as it came there are probably some dry days ahead of me. This is a little unfortunately because isabell is suffering a really bad cold and didn’t made it out in the water so far. She is a little bored of just sitting at the beach and doing basically nothing. I feel sorry for her, but we can’t even go hiking considering her conditions. I hope she regain health soon and can get in the water to enjoy what we came up here to taranaki.

I am going in anyway, no matter what. If there is a wave breaking, no matter how small and crappy, I will charge. I know that, after my very long trip, there will be a dry season for me back home without any watersport, so I have to and I will enjoy it as much as I can with all my five senses and all of my mind. Putting myself in this state if mind is very easy but soaking it all up and keeping it as long as I can to gain strength and motivation of it for a long period of time is not that easy. Living for the moment does not entirely mean to enjoy and appreciate everything in the present day but remember it in the future as if it has been just a day away. From a commercial or business standpoint there is basically nothing waiting for me back home. Just a few sentimental and personal things are left and grown into my heart, so that somehow there is a connection that, for now, makes me go back.

But there should be nothing between you and your dreams. Something inside of myself hopes that this state of mind will change at some point and another life, a life in a different and better place, is not only possible, but a need and a wish. Really breaking up with the past and a place called home is not easy and doesn’t has to be. When you feel it, you will feel it and your heart tells you what to do and when to leave maybe for good. Otherwise just keep going. Keep trying, keep looking for the best way to live life in its purest way and on the path you want it to be. My biggest fear is to be at a turning point where I look back and tell myself: ‘I should have… why didn’t i… now it’s too late to…’ living the dream is more often not finding it but keep searching and going along as many paths as possible to find the right one for as long as it will take you.

Things are always changing, especially people. So to find the right thing for yourself to do is not easy and might keep you up at night with some life changing decisions to make. But not trying, not even look above the edge of the plate you are on is even worse. Not trying to figure out what you want and who you really are means you already gave up searching. You gave up improving. You gave up exploring. I’m not afraid of what I could become, but of what I won’t become. So whatever you may do, you do for a reason and it will take you down one of those paths that will give you another vision, another point of view, another perspective of life in general, especially yours, because your own life is the one which count the most and which is the one to be fulfilled at first. Without regrets, because everything you do, you do for a reason and every decision you make will help you heading forward with your head high, eyes wide open and a curious smile on your face. Life is short and I can’t effort to waste another minute. Can you?